[Tea] It's the Relationship, Sweetheart

Welcome to "Tea with Julie," a weekly missive by me, Julie Bogart. My wish is to give you food for thought over a cup of tea to enhance your life as an educator, parent, and awesome adult. Glad you're here. Pinkies up!
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Cincinnati, April 3, 2021

Hi Friend,

Here are some final thoughts about relationship dynamics (next topic: burnout!).

When you’re tempted to get worked up about algebra, breathe.

Remind yourself: My daughter and I can tackle algebra more easily if we like each other.

When he spills the Cheerios right after you told him to wait for you, hold back. Let the lava flow of irritation run through you, but don’t spill it onto his little head.

Remember: He won’t always spill Cheerios, but he'll be grateful that I’m not the type to lose my cool.

When you can’t squeeze another chapter into the end of the year, and you’re disappointed in yourself for not being more disciplined, let go.

Notice: My children like me. I like them. I can let that be enough, because it is.

When heartbreak threatens to steal your memories, when you don’t know how to get to the next space because it’s unfamiliar and riddled with loss, hold on.

Tell yourself: It will be okay because I'm loved, because I have love to give. I’ll get to the other side by loving, not by fearing.

When one of your children doesn’t like you right now, trust.

This too shall pass: My love and like are big enough for the both of us. I can let my natural devotion and affection lead me, not my resentment, nor my anxiety, nor my anger.

Pay attention.

When you imagine your children in the future, what do you see?

Inside jokes,
vacations at the beach,
memories of outings taken and books read,
big hugging reunions,
foods to share,
games to play?

These start now. Do them now. Value them now.

In the end, the book learning will come (sometimes quickly and ahead of schedule, sometimes in college, sometimes not until one your children decides to home educate their offspring).

What can never be scheduled or studied, crammed or tested is love.

Homeschooling is a performance of love between family members over a sustained, daily, intimate period of years, led by a parent who puts relationship ahead of books.

Check in with yourself today.

Be present to your children.

Love one another.

Warmly,

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