[Tea] Helping Your Child with Self Expression

Welcome to "Tea with Julie," a weekly missive by me, Julie Bogart. My wish is to give you food for thought over a cup of tea to enhance your life as an educator, parent, and awesome adult. Glad you're here. Pinkies up!
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Cincinnati, June 11, 2022

Hi Friend,

Talk, talk, talk.

The most important part of your writing program is giving your kids a chance to self express in a variety of settings about all kinds of topics. Even the taboo ones, like fart jokes.

But some children are reluctant to talk. They may be introverts or they may worry that you will find their ideas problematic.

Ways to Draw Kids into Conversation

Sidle up to your child (while that child is happily engaged) and show interest. Could be a video game, could be while crafting, could be while kicking a soccer ball into a net in the backyard. Be where your thriving child IS and show interest.
Serve a drink and a snack and invite your child to sit with you, just the two of you. If you worry that there will be nothing to discuss, simply be together. No pressure. If you are quiet long enough, the quieter child often finds words to share.
Leave the house. Get in a car and go somewhere. Take a hike, visit a museum, get Frappuccino's to go and sip them at an outdoor table. Make it a one-on-one date.
Talk in the car. Pose a provocative question (“How many basketballs could fit in that semi?”), discuss song lyrics, or comment on the birds on the telephone wire.

The goal isn’t to force conversation, but to allow it to bubble up and to be valued.

ONE WARNING: if you allow self-expression, you need to prepare to hear what you didn’t want to hear. Your task is to receive it, not comment on it. Save your private thoughts for a journal.

If you make room for this kind of space-giving conversation-promoting practice, your children will find more words for writing.

If you need help learning how to hear dissenting viewpoints, my book Raising Critical Thinkers can help.

Warmly,

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