Welcome to "Tea with Julie," a weekly missive by me, Julie Bogart. My wish is to give you food for thought over a cup of tea to enhance your life as an educator, parent, and awesome adult. Glad you're here. Pinkies up!
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Cincinnati, January 16, 2021
Hi Friend,
As you ease back into your routine for the coming semester (or year, if you're down under), you may be wishing you had a little more spring in your own step. Even as a home educator, you go through your own developmental stages of growth.
Let's talk about them because it may help you feel more comfortable with your journey and give you some ideas to add a little spice to your day-to-day operations.
By the way: this is *l o n g* email so print it out and read it with a cup of tea. Take some time with it.
In Brave Writer we talk a lot about the natural stages of growth for young writers—helping you help your kids to move naturally through the developmental steps that lead to fluency in writing.
Today let's look at the natural stages of development for homeschool instructors.
If you're a home educating parent, this is made for you – and if you are parenting with someone who is not a home educating parent, this may serve as a helpful guide for them. Even if your partner is not on the exact same journey, it is valuable for them to understand the unique journey you’re undertaking.
Stage 1 – Jumping In!
Quite often, home educators jump into homeschooling without any formal training. We’re drawn to the notion of bonded family, participating in our children’s firsts, and the idea that we can provide something better or different than the school system…but we don’t necessarily know what the heck we’re doing!
At this point, the blossoming home educator is quite enthusiastic about this new decision. Yet your kids? You can expect little or no change in them. This isn't their big adventure—this is just life as they know it.
This stage may last anywhere from 6-12 months, no matter what ages your kids are.
Re-up your energy: Feel free to be all-in. Indulge in reading the blogs, the books, social media. Schedule time each day to enjoy being inspired by ideas. Test various models of planning, explore new-to-you ways to teach typical subjects like math or spelling, and give yourself big permission to geek out on learning theory.
Stage 2 – Playing School
Your excitement might have carried you over a number of obstacles during your first year, but eventually the reality of homeschool starts to set in – the day-to-day can be experienced as "hard."
Some things that you thought worked easily may not feel so easy this year, or you may feel more resistance from your children than year one.
As a result, many home educators fall back on what they know; they create a miniature school, including a classroom setup, strict schedule, and familiar education curriculum.
Ultimately, though, you will stumble upon a homeschooling truth: school has different properties than home. School is about groups, instructors, schedules, curriculum, expectations, standards, and pressure. Home is where you get away from all that.
Re-up your energy: Embrace the properties of home. Add tea and treats to poetry. Take math worksheets to the cozy nook in the sectional and work them on a clipboard. Play all morning and push lessons until after lunch. Use Saturday morning for a read aloud or freewriting session and include the other parent. Let your homeschool school feel homey.
Stage 3 – Following the “Method”
After we get exhausted with playing school, we start exploring philosophies of education that help us do a better job of being at home, while still providing a good education. There are quite a number of popular methods, including Classical, Unschooling, Eclectic, Charlotte Mason, and even Brave Writer.
Adopt a new methodology, even for a season. Experience the method, allow yourself to be taught by it, and indulge fully if it appeals to you.
Taking time to "try on" a methodology trains your brain and educates you as homeschooler.
Let me caution you, though: there’s also a danger of becoming a method "purist."
If you start to think that by following one method perfectly, you’ll be able to guarantee safe results, it’s easy to become judgmental of every other methodology, even shunning the people who use them and discounting their experiences.
But if you acknowledge that even sincere people can have different experiences using the same philosophy or methodology, you put yourself back in charge of the ship.
Re-up your energy: The best way forward is to experiment with a new model for learning. Let your kids in on your new strategy: "I thought we'd try studying history chronologically" or "Let's see how this online math class works" or "For the next two weeks, we're only going to follow your interests and see what we learn." Include your kids as you test new methods and take their feedback seriously.
Stage 4 – Swapping Curriculum
After investing in one method thoroughly, it's inevitable that we hit a wall. All experiences become routine and dull at some point. So what do we do? We swap curriculum!
And you know what? Sometimes this works!
However, what works for one child may not work for another, so you can’t fall back into the same trap of believing you found “the answer” to home education. Conversely, you can’t swap too often, too fast or you create a feeling of being scattered.
Think of the variety of curricula as a sandbox for you to play in! Stop thinking materials will save your life. Instead seek the unique offering that each curriculum has for your family. You don’t have to use every aspect of every tool, but sometimes a new source of information can catalyze new insight or a useful change in perspective.
Re-up your energy: Flip through a book with your kids looking for a single page or activity they want to try. Cut it right out! Make a notebook of all the fun stuff you want to do that comes from sources you already have. Skip the stuff you don't want to do in the book.
Stage 5 – Trusting Yourself
After you’ve been through all of those developmental stages, gained information, and experienced a lot of failure, you will finally be able to lay a solid foundation for home education.
You are in charge of your home school experience, and you can trust yourself!
Re-up your energy: This is a great time to pursue your own interests with real pleasure, guilt-free!
Stage 6 – The “Re-Upping” Moment
If you start homeschooling with your first child, then we guess you’ll reach stage five and start trusting yourself around junior high. Uh-oh! High school!
It's like you have to start from scratch all over again!
The good news: you’ve already gone through all of these stages once, so it should be easier and faster to move through them this time.
This is not just a re-upping moment for you as a home educator, but for everyone in the family – and your children’s point of view is paramount.
Re-up your energy: Mix it up! High School is a time to allow your teen to make some of the calls. Invite a big juicy conversation about what that teen would like to experience and then make it happen!
Stage 7 – Us-Schooling
When you’ve gone through those stages again, taking your children’s opinions into account to build a unique methodology around your family’s unique needs, you will have built an “Us School.”
Your homeschool won’t look like ours or anyone else’s – it’ll look like your family.
Stage 8 – The Veteran
(AKA “Phew! Finished”)
Once your kids are done, and it’s too late for you to fix or change anything, you're a veteran. You'll have the scars and gray hair (even under your colored roots) to prove it!
Your family will all be better people for going through the process. You will have grown through loss, pain, triumph, and achievement, and there will be a collection of human beings that go out and make their mark on the world.
But the best feeling of all is knowing you were an essential, constituent part of your children's development. That’s the true gift of homeschooling.
Learn more about the Re-upping Moment and all of the stages by listening to this episode of the Brave Writer Podcast: The Natural Stages of Growth for a Home Educator.
Warmly,
P.S. Catch up on all the “Tea with Julie” emails here! And invite your friends to receive our largely marketing-free weekly missives.
Julie Bogart
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