[Tea] When You Run into a Brick Wall with Writing

Welcome to "Tea with Julie," a weekly missive by me, Julie Bogart. My wish is to give you food for thought over a cup of tea to enhance your life as an educator, parent, and awesome adult. Glad you're here. Pinkies up!
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Cincinnati, June 18, 2022

Hi Friend,

If you’ve run into a brick wall of resistance for writing, ask yourself these questions.⠀

How do I react to errors in spelling, punctuation, and grammar?
When I’m disappointed in the content, what do I say to my child?
Do I see writing as a requirement or a revelation?

If your answers reveal expectations that are felt by your child as pressure, it could be that you’ve made the space unsafe for writing risks.

To ensure freedom for risks, shift focus to:⠀

Curiosity (what does the writing reveal?)
Care (how can I validate what was offered?)
Collaboration (what help can I give to grow the writing?)

Elizabeth Gilbert, professional successful writer, shared about how she handles criticism of her work. She avoids it. She doesn’t entrust her self or her work to those who haven’t earned the right to speak into her life.

Then she wrote a list of criteria she uses when asking for feedback for her work. My jaw dropped. These are the criteria I advocate for how a parent can be a trusted coach and ally to their children in writing.

Here’s the list of how she finds her critics. Imagine your child asking these questions while evaluating whether or not to trust YOU with their work. If they can say that you are this kind of person, they will ask for your help and feedback! Promise!

Criteria for a Trusted Writing Coach

Do I trust your opinion and your taste?
Do I trust that you will understand what I am trying to create, and therefore can help me to improve it?
Do I trust that you have my best interests at heart — that there is no ulterior motive, and no hidden agenda in your criticism?
Do I trust that you can offer your criticism with a fundamental spirit of gentleness, so that I can actually hear it without being emotionally wounded?

She concludes:

Gentleness is very important.

YES!!

To write is to risk exposure.

Be gentle, kind, and supportive.

If you need help, I've been offering it for decades. My newest writing manual can provide the model and the tools you need to offer curiosity, care, and collaboration.

I've got a free webinar on July 15 (publication day) to help you put all these tools into practice too.

Preorder now: Growing Brave Writers

Hope you're having a great June!

Warmly,

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