[Tea] Take Away Insistence as a Tool

Welcome to "Tea with Julie," a weekly missive by me, Julie Bogart. My wish is to give you food for thought over a cup of tea to enhance your life as an educator, parent, and awesome adult. Glad you're here. Pinkies up!
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Cincinnati, July 25, 2020

Hi Friend,

What if your child refuses to participate in any homeschool or writing projects?

A couple of things to consider:

What makes your child happy? Do that.
What helps her feel safe and heard? Do that.
What are his interests? Spend time with him there.
What are your interests? Spend time with those in front of your kids.

The subject areas can feel unrelated to real life and learning for kids at home. The more we insist they “do what they should” (even the fun stuff), the more they simply dig in their heels. But when we come to the table not with lessons, but with connection, something good happens.

I know you may wonder how the 3 R’s will emerge from that soup, but they will once you re-establish trust.

For instance, in writing—use it.

Write on the mirror with lipstick.
Send messages on the phone.
Toss a paper airplane into the room with a special note from you.
Load up your child’s door with Post-it notes and little facts and sayings.
Sit at the table and freewrite with your kids.
Brainstorm all the topics together and assign one to each other.
Let your child tell you what to write about.

For math: Make brownies and tea and then play with Cuisinaire rods and work out multiplication tables. Play board games. Play with dice. Bake. Quilt. Skip count with a jump rope. Work on computer program coding. Build a LEGO kit. Make a spreadsheet that itemizes your child's collections.

Clear the coffee table

Replace the old stuff with at least two of the following:

New library book
Art book (that shows paintings from a famous painter or a collection from a museum…)
Tray of items to arrange (shells, marbles, stones, fake flowers, votive candles)
Book of poems
Magnetic poetry with a cookie sheet or some other metallic surface

Keep rotating items that are on the coffee table.

Then “take five” by sitting on the couch (stop that perpetual motion for a few minutes) and page through the books. Make a poem with the magnets or arrange the supply of items into an attractive centerpiece. If you do, someone will join you. Flip through the art book and find a favorite. Put a bookmark there with your name on it (I use post-its) and leave it in the book for the next person who pages through the book. Your interest in a painting will be noticed by the next person and cause him or her to wonder what you liked about it.

Or you can just laugh out loud at the poem you read or read it aloud to whoever will listen.

The point is...

Take away insistence as a tool. Pretend you are not allowed to insist.

Let go of the need to get your kids to do something and start looking for opportunities to be with them in their joy, celebrating the learning that is happening right in front of you.

And get ready for my podcast on Wednesday (July 29). It is all about when your child "refuses" to learn. I'll give you 7 steps to take that will transform how you lead in learning!

Warmly,

P.S. Catch up on all the “Tea with Julie” emails here!